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Their solution was as elegant as it was simple: One thing that South Yorkshire didn't lack was 6'3', 16-stone, balding, middle-aged white people. You see where this is going - yes, they did blackface. What you may not have seen coming: They did it with!And they didn't even do it very well. The makeup 'artists' didn't remember to paint the white men's hands, which made an already very desperate deception into a failure contest between stupidity and racism.Unsurprisingly, Kamara's solicitor took one look at the 'lookalikes' and 'conceded that it was not a fair likeness.' Kamara was identified as the criminal, but the case was thrown out of court almost immediately, after the judge described the identification procedures as 'a farce.' No, we liked 'failure contest between stupidity and racism' better.
It's not as punchy, but it's far more accurate. Ireland's Most Wanted Motorist Was A Man Named 'Driver's License'Prawo Jazdy. It's a name muttered in only the darkest corners, discussed in the most hushed whispers, a predatory shadow looming over Ireland's motoring history. 2007 was the year they finally ended his war on traffic, after a nationwide operation to find the villain with over 50 violations to his name. Police had caught him many times, but he kept avoiding arrest by giving different addresses and birthdays. Yes, Prawo Jazdy was a chameleon. A true criminal mastermind.'
How he taunts us. You can't get away with this forever, Prawo Jazdy.' If you take a moment to study that document, or if you speak a little Polish, you might have figured out why this is all very dumb: Prawo Jazdy is neither a criminal mastermind nor a document forger. He's not even a person.On over 50 different occasions, Irish police stopped a Polish driver, asked to see their license, saw the words 'Prawo Jazdy' at the top, and assumed that was the name. You've got to wonder why the Polish were uniquely affected by this idiocy, though. Why wasn't every Spaniard ticketed as 'Permiso De Conduccion'? Or every Alabaman as 'SEX OFFENDER'?
An Inept Customs Officer Accidentally Became An International Drug SmugglerWhat's the best thing about going on vacation? The adventure? The 5 ounces of free weed you're given by airport security?.Upbeat music interrupted by record scratch.This blunder actually occurred in 2008, when one unwitting air traveler arrived in his Tokyo hotel room, opened his bag,. While this definitely sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen film called Tokyo Tokin' or Land Of The Rising Bud, or maybe a shot-for-shot remake of Ninja 3: The Domination, we assure you it's not (yet).' Hello, police?' The drugs were thanks to a particularly incompetent customs agent at Narita International Airport.
The agent was trying to train his drug-sniffing dog, and decided the best way to do so was to turn one unwitting traveler into a mule. He found a random bag, slipped a container of illegal drugs inside, and then waited for success. His Plan A was for the dog to find the hidden cache.
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His Plan B was nothing.Planting illegal drugs on customers is, unsurprisingly, against Narita Airport regulations. However, the customs officer made the that 'the dogs have always been able to find it before.' It's flawless logic, right? You can check his math by taking the number of drug stashes the dogs found and subtracting that number from the drug stashes the dogs didn't fi- oh, wait. Oh man, this guy is a fucking idiot.His partner was demoted to 'OK boy.' Of course the suitcase passed through customs with ease, because the laws of comedy are universal and unyielding.
To be fair to the customs agent, he immediately admitted his mistake and began a search for the lost drugs. To be truly fair to the customs agent, he apparently hadn't paid much attention when he planted the drugs, and forgot what the bag in question looked like. And it's only a little suspicious that the guy in charge of all the illegal drugs can't remember anything and does very stupid things. 'Wait, what?'
They must have blurted as they were to cultivate hemp in order to test its suitability as a replacement for cotton in the textile industry.The study had been underway for several years, and was in the final stages before the keefstone cops showed up and ruined everything. In the end, over half the study's crop was either destroyed or rendered unsuitable for use, and so the entire project was delayed. The real kicker: The plants were unfit for drug production, as they were specifically chosen for their low content of THC. It would take you five weeks and eight human throats to get high smoking such awful weed.
In the end, the police disrupted a multiyear, multi-million-dollar project to destroy a bunch of scratchy blanket materials. Yes, homophobia was everywhere in the 1980s. The Navy was terrified of secret homosexuals in their ranks, so they tasked the NIS (Naval Investigative Service, or Needlessly Insecure about Sexuality) to head out to Chicago and seek out any homosexuals hidden in an institution that put fit young men in cute outfits together on boats. They had to put their best people on the case.Unsurprisingly, in, the NIS did manage to find traces of the gay. They kept hearing reports of homosexuals who were 'friends of Dorothy.' They had to find this mysterious contact, the one woman who seemed to be connected to everyone in the underground homosexual network. This 'Dorothy.'
If you've seen Arrested Development, you might already know that 'friend of Dorothy' was coy old-timey slang for 'gay,' a reference to Judy Garland, who played Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz. The NIS absolutely did not know this, and so. They were certain she(?) was at the center of the elaborate homosexual military conspiracy. Sort of like the Harriet Tubman of Navy gays.elnavegante/iStock, Loew’s, Inc. “We thought we’d tracked her to Middle America, but apparently she’s not in Kansas anymore.”.
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